


Sir Aziraphale and the Dragon

by doomed_spectacles



Category: Good Omens (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Banter, Crowley is the dragon, Developing Friendships, Flirting, Inspired by Beowulf, M/M, What if Beowulf flirted with the dragon instead
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-25
Updated: 2021-02-25
Packaged: 2021-03-15 22:00:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,419
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29690559
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/doomed_spectacles/pseuds/doomed_spectacles
Summary: A brave knight must make a choice when he comes face to face with the dragon he's been tasked with slaying.He felt the walls of the cavern shake with the dragon’s mocking laugh. He swirled his body around the enclosure, displacing chalices and pieces of broken mirrors as he moved. The dragon’s tail swished about rapidly and Aziraphale couldn’t help but think of a cat, whipping its limb about while excited by the prospect of a hunt. Suddenly the cavern didn’t seem as big as it had from above, now that he shared it with the body of the dragon.Aziraphale stood, dusting off his tunic. “Hello,” he said.
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Comments: 21
Kudos: 74





	Sir Aziraphale and the Dragon

**Author's Note:**

> Mofu bingo: Mythical creatures!
> 
> Look, I dunno, this came to me in a dream or something. XD

"Who goes there?" 

The voice echoed off the walls of the narrow tunnel, causing Aziraphale's ears to ring. He crawled forward, determined not to let the creature intimidate him. Ahead, a dim light indicated the creature's den was within reach. 

"What puny specimen of man crawls to me on his belly? Eh? Like a worm in the dirt! And to the dirt you shall return!"

Aziraphale rolled his eyes and inched forward. His square shoulders barely fit through the tunnel but he kept going. He'd suggested taking the front entrance but the villagers insisted he crawl through a dusty, dark, narrow opening in the hillside instead. His tunic and leggings would be irreparably stained by the end of this and he fully intended on charging them for repairs. He had _standards_ , after all.

When he reached the end of the tunnel, the golden glow grew brighter until he had to squint to see anything in its glare. Aziraphale huffed as he inched towards the opening. He reached the entrance to the cave and barely squeezed through to the threshold of the creature's den.

“Ah, he approaches! A brave knight indeed, who approaches through the rear tunnel, sneaking like the thief he is!” The creature’s voice was even louder without the echo effect of the tunnel. He was close, very close.

Aziraphale ignored the mocking voice. He surveyed the dragon’s lair. The end of the tunnel was high in the air, about ten feet above the surface of the cave below. Glittering jewels, coins, marbles, broken bits of pottery, shiny rocks, and colorful bric-a-brac covered the ground as far as he could see. The light flickered from a crude torch on the wall, throwing strange shadows like dancing figures that mocked him by staying just out of sight.

In the middle of the cave, lounging on his trove, was the dragon.

Aziraphale's heart skipped a beat at the sight of the magnificent creature he'd been sent to destroy. The dragon’s body was at least fifteen feet long and covered in ruby-red scales that glittered in the light of the cave. A dazzling pattern of gold and titian scales wound around his long, serpentine body. He had three sets of small blade-like wings on his back and four limbs with razor-sharp talons. The creature’s head was lined with fur that looked as soft as dandelion fluff, making a gold and white mane around his large head. His lips were bared in a sneer, exposing at least one row of very sharp teeth. But the most captivating feature of the dragon was its eyes. They were yellow, with black slitted pupils, and the expression they currently held was one of unabashed amusement.

“Oh, bother-” Aziraphale said, as he lost his balance on the edge of the tunnel and tumbled arse over tit to the cave’s floor. He landed hard on his bottom and let out a disgruntled “oof.”

He felt the walls of the cavern shake with the dragon’s mocking laugh. He swirled his body around the enclosure, displacing chalices and pieces of broken mirrors as he moved. The dragon’s tail swished about rapidly and Aziraphale couldn’t help but think of a cat, whipping its limb about while excited by the prospect of a hunt. Suddenly the cavern didn’t seem as big as it had from above, now that he shared it with the body of the dragon.

Aziraphale stood, dusting off his tunic. “Hello,” he said.

The dragon laughed again, then rushed at him. Aziraphale had no time to react before he was completely encased. The dragon wound around Aziraphale like a snake, ensnaring him and squeezing lightly. It wasn’t enough to be painful but Aziraphale couldn’t escape, either.

“So, this is the knight sneaking into my cave, then,” the creature said. Its breath was uncomfortably hot in Aziraphale’s ear.

“Yes, well, it wasn’t my preferred method of entry, let me assure you,” he replied. “But needs must, I suppose.”

The dragon laughed again and Aziraphale felt his scales shaking against his skin. He shivered. The sensation wasn’t entirely unpleasant. The dragon’s body was warm against him and the pressure with which he held Aziraphale was strangely comforting.

“And you’re here to slay me, then,” the dragon asked, slowly uncoiling himself and slithering away. “Destroy the dragon and gain yourself great honor, I presume?”

Aziraphale looked around the cavern again. He spied a relatively flat rock and brushed the loose jewels off it. He sat and let out a sigh.

“It can’t be helped, you know. The villagers hired me because you’ve caused quite a stir.” He fixed the dragon with his best glare. His lips were pursed. He crossed one leg over the other and folded his hands on his raised knee. “Really, my dear, all this mayhem over a single cup?”

The dragon swished its tail aggressively. It bobbed its head up and down and opened its jaws but couldn’t seem to form any words. Aziraphale waited.

Finally, the dragon let out a breath of steam from its nostrils and said, “Fine, yeah, but I can’t just let it stand, now can I? Those Danes coming up here, stealing my things, next thing you know they’ll be blasting my mountain to bits and building right over top of it.”

“You’re being unreasonable.”

“I’m a _dragon_!” The creature approached again, making like he was going to constrict him again. Instead, the dragon flicked its long blood-red tongue out of its mouth, tasting the air around Aziraphale’s body. When he lightly touched the skin of Aziraphale’s neck, shivers ran down his spine again and the blood rushed to areas Aziraphale wished were covered by more than his thin tunic. He couldn’t help a shimmy of his shoulders but otherwise remained still.

The dragon zeroed in on the pouch at Aziraphale’s side. “Is that a snack?” He bumped his head against the pouch.

“Oh! Yes, I brought pretzels,” Aziraphale said. “They’re probably smashed to bits now, though.” He opened the pouch and dumped the contents into his hand. “Would you like a bite? I don’t know what dragons eat but there’s no sense in wasting a good snack. Here you are, umm-”

“Crawly.”

Aziraphale inclined his head. “Crawly.”

The creature looked away and sniffed. He seemed almost bashful. “I’m thinking of changing it, though.”

Aziraphale shrugged and ate a handful of crumbs. The creature settled nearby, watching him with those intense yellow eyes. All Aziraphale could hear was his own crunching teeth and the heavy breathing of the beautiful dragon. Aziraphale’s eyes had adjusted to the dim light. He surveyed the contents of the cave, spying all sorts of interesting objects lying haphazardly about the place. Off to one side, an entrance much larger than the one he’d used to breach the dragon’s lair presumably led to the outside. It let in a cool, pleasant breeze.

“You know, this is a nice place, actually,” he said, thoughtfully. “No one would hassle you down here to go about slaying monsters or marrying into this or that royal family, that’s for sure. It’d be a nice quiet place to sit and read or take a nap.”

Crawly sniffed. “Yep. Gets a bit lonely though.”

“Mm, I can see how that would be difficult.”

The dragon grinned, revealing several more sets of very pointy teeth. “The last few guys didn't make it five minutes before their heads were off.” He inclined his head to what looked like a like of crumpled clothing but was, on further inspection, several expired knights.

“Oh, dear,” Aziraphale said. He wiped the crumbs from his lap and stood.

“Perhaps we can make an arrangement. Of sorts,” Crawly said. His eyes were full of mischief and Aziraphale felt sure that whatever it was he was about to propose, it would be far more pleasant for both of them than what either had intended to do when he’d arrived.

They didn't shake on it, exactly. Aziraphale held his hand out and the creature bumped it with his nose.

Aziraphale spent the rest of the afternoon chatting amiably with the large dragon coiled casually around him. He stroked Crawly’s scales absent-mindedly. Underneath him, the dragon let out a deep sigh of pleasure and the steam that escaped from his mouth warmed the cave a few degrees. Aziraphale smiled.

As he left, Crawly asked, “Did you even bring a sword?”

“It didn't fit through the tunnel!”

The dragon's laughter rang out like a bell, clanging merrily against the walls of the cavern and beyond.

**Author's Note:**

> (Pretzels are the world's oldest snack, so this isn't entirely ridiculous. I mean, it's ridiculous, but not solely because of that.)


End file.
